The Mom Card

On her way to the new job!

Sometimes you just have to play it.  You walk that fine line everyday to not butt in and to allow your child to make their mistakes.  It's like when they are learning to walk or ride a bike, right?  Well every now and then you have to step in.  This past week has seen really bad lows and really high highs.  I think it's the combination of the two jobs together.  Katie quit GameStop because of lack of hours.  She loved it there but 3 hours a week wasn't going to work.  So she got and loves her full time job at Starbucks.  BUT she insisted on doing the full two week notice and then they decided to schedule her 10 full hours each of her last two weeks at GS.  Which would have been fine if she was a normal 18 year old..but we all know she's extraordinary and not normal!  She had texted me earlier in the week that she was not feeling well and her blood sugar was in the 60's.  So I texted her to leave work.  She got a bit short with me and said she was fine.  I called her at work and she answered and was slurring her words.  So I texted a neighbor to drive me there and texted Katie that I would drive her home.

To say she was annoyed with me for showing up and standing outside her work was an understatement.  But she then thanked me because I said her sugar was way too low and she looked horrible.  We got her a burger and salad and went home.  She's spiking high and swinging low all week.  Then on Wednesday she texted me from the 2nd job- GameStop to say she *really* didn't feel well.  Her coworker convinced her to sit down and drink some soda..but she said she was really tired and just didn't feel good.  I didn't even hesitate.  Enough was enough.  It's stressful enough to be on the receiving end of these texts -can you imagine being her body going through it?  So I called the store and told them that she could NOT work her shift and this would be her last day.  I said I was sorry but she's endangering her health out of some misguided sense of obligation.
I was lucky in that my uncle (in from out of town) and my mom had decided to follow me back to my house.  (In another story- my 98 year old grandmother is staying here right now while her house is getting new windows and doors!)  Thank goodness they were in the area and could help me with the logistics.  By the time I got to the store she was weaving and looking super pale.  And was out of it.  In the 15 min it takes to get home, she actually started feeling a bit better.  My uncle took her, my mom took her car and I went to get her food and meds.

I'm telling you as a parent- sometimes you have to play this card.  Even with the older adults.  She does NOT recognize she's low at all.  Ever it seems.  Sometimes she will catch it but usually she has no idea.  She did this at Starbucks...who adore her and the staff recognized it before she did because she was holding her head.  They forced her to take a break and test her blood and lo and behold- low low low.  They told me that they would all carry my phone number and be trained on the glucagon so she's safe and she can take whatever breaks she needs.  They've been so supportive.  She literally was diagnosed on the day they hired her.

And that bike she learned to ride?  Didn't happen without training wheels until she was in middle school.  We tried to get her to ride without them.  Sometimes it just takes what it takes.

Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief

Do you remember this childhood rhyme?
      Rich Man, Poor Man,

Beggar Man, Thief,

Doctor, Lawyer, 

Indian Chief.

For some reason it came to mind when I was trying to think of a subject for this post.  :)  

This is what I feel like now...lawyer- or at least crafty when dealing with the insurance.  Doctor, nurse and everything else.  I've been reading other blogs and I realize this is NORMAL.  But it's tiring.  I feel like I'm on a tightrope because Katie is 18 and an adult and she's obviously wanting to be treated like an adult.  But is it wrong of me to want to make sure she has everything she needs?  She was going to a friend's house tonight and I tried about 20x to get her to agree to have the friend here.  She KNEW why I was doing it and pushed back equally as hard.  I had to literally bite my tongue when I asked her final plans and she said that he was picking her up here and bringing here to hang out at his place.  Now I'm sitting here trying NOT to obsessively text her over and over.  I'm trying guys.  I'm human though.

Case in point. Yesterday she was getting ready for work and I let her figure out what she needed. I believe I even asked as she was flying out the door if she had everything she needed.  Then she texted me she had NO snack with her.  You have to understand - she and I live by her meals.  She has to - literally.  Especially when working and doing physical activity - her numbers drop too low.  But I just told her to go to Target next door and get a snack.  And honestly- she figured it out.  Her best friend Mel was heading up there and was able to get her a snack.  I wasn't trying to be unfeeling but she has to learn.  I won't always be there for her and that kills me.  It's why I wish unrealistically that she had gotten diagnosed when she was little.  I feel like it's SO much harder to have a new adult be diagnosed.  As if she doesn't have enough to be responsible for???

So..I let her go today...I have texted her a few times and she is understanding more that I need to hear from her.  Need a text with her bs numbers.  And once in awhile..her lows are low and she gets freaked and asks to sleep with me and I gladly make room in the bed for her.....gladly....

This disease scares the heck out of me.  I think because I want to be in control all the time and it feels like we are falling down the rabbit hole.

I know more about carb counting and insulin amounts and things I never signed up for.  For those who know me- I was a creative person.  Trained originally years ago to be an elementary school teacher.  Went on to own a scrapbook store but when that store failed in the economy I did something so drastic my close friends and family (but not Kevin..he always knew or believed in me) thought I had lost it.  I went back to get a degree in Science.  I don't know if Kevin was rubbing off on me or what, but when he asked me what I wanted to do - that is what I said- BIOLOGY.  I believe we are on this path due to fate or whatever and this obviously was something I started studying for a reason a few years ago.  Little did I know it would be to help my daughter stay healthy and live a long life!  

I'm so glad I paid so close attention in all my courses..I know more about our cells and how they work from even before this disease....time to close down for the night...think it's about time to text my oldest.  I'm sure she will forgive me.  I always was a mama bear when someone was poking my kids..it's amazing to me how much like the mom in Steel Magnolias I can be when pushed....I'll do anything to make sure my daughter is ok.  Even if it means incurring her wrath for texting her numerous times in a night.  One day when she has a child she will get it!